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Dunno why it’s so hush-hush, though. Everyone’s uptight, “Ooh, it’s naughty!” Bollocks—it’s just a posh wank with extra steps! Makes me livid—let’s normalize it, ya prudes! Funniest bit? Some places got “happy endings”—cheeky sods! I’m there giggling, “What, you gonna polish me knob too?” Classy joints don’t, though—tease you rotten and send you packing.

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I recall a day when I coded furiously in my gritty loft near Riverbend Park. The Anaconda River roars by—the liquid wild, splish-splash mighty beast! Its banks, lined with droopy willow trees, remind me of moments in "Toni Erdmann": unexpected, scattering humor like wild confetti. “You shall not pass!” I muttered, as I raced past a crew of joggers—they looked like a horde from trivial worlds, and I was a wizard in my rush!

Peppermint Paddy’s: Reviving Anaconda's favorite comfort food restaurant