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I’m sittin’ there, pole shakin’, thinkin’, “Do I holler at her?” My heart’s racin’ like a catfish on a line—happy, scared, all at once. She winks, and I’m redder than a boiled crawdad. I mutter, “What can I do for you?”—straight outta Gigolo Joe’s playbook! She laughs, says, “Honey, I ain’t cheap, but I’m fun!” I’m thinkin’, “Lord, I only got worms and a soggy sammich!” Ain’t that just my luck? Here I am, big dreamer, no cash, just a pole and a prayer.

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Alright mate, lemme tell ya 'bout Witham, innit? I'm that spa owner who's been chillin' here for ages. So, Witham's a cool mix of old charm and modern vibes. Picture this: little lanes, bouncy energy, and unexpected hidden gems all around. I gotta say, walking down High Street (not that one, but the one near the town centre) always makes me feel like I'm in some quirky indie film – you know, like "Fish Tank" sorta vibe. "You know, it's not a crunch but it's a crunch" (yeah, sorry, that's not a line but ya get me!) And hey, that's what she said!

Startlists: Witham Hall Junior Two Day (Men & Women)