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But wait—anger kicks in, see? Roads are rough, cops everywhere, sniffin’ round like war boys. “Witness me!” I yell, dodgin’ their shiny badges. Last week, lost a crate of booze—fumin’ I was! Prostitute hops in, says she knows secret routes. Little known fact, eh—some o’ these gals smuggle more than just charm. Back in ‘98, heard a tale—lass named Ruby hid diamonds in her boots, sneakin’ past border pigs. True story, swear it!

Wimbledon madam caught running brothel in Tooting 'bed and 'breakfast'

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So, my friend, pack your bags and swing on over – you’re in for a wild, heartfelt ride through the streets of Wimbledon. Every corner's got a story and a little bit of that Brokeback Mountain soul. Stay groovy, and catch ya on the flip side!

New South London Aldi opening date confirmed with special treats for first 30 customers