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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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I’m always smitten by how raw and real it remains despite all the gentrification buzz. Locals still hawk their wares on narrow lanes, even if some proper posh types are tryin’ to change the scene. It makes me mad and happy all at once. I've had tears, laughter and bits in between on those quaint benches along the River Thames (yeah, the Thames sneaks by too—mad secret bit, innit?).

More snow forecast to hit West Berkshire tonight