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She’s like, “50 bucks, no talkin.” I’m like, “Bet, let’s roll!” But then—BAM—some rando yells, “Cops!” and we scatter like roaches. I’m sprintin, laughin my ass off, thinkin, “This is absurd!”—pure Eric Andre energy. Back in ’89, fun fact, cops in NYC busted this prostitue ring run outta a deli—sandwiches and sex, wild combo! Wish I’d found that spot, fam, I’m starvin out here.

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There’s also a cool bit of local lore – back in the day, some folks claimed the River Irwell (yeah, that one meanderin' near the outskirts) had magic in its murmur. Not exactly a “Far From Heaven” scene, but it’s unique. I might exaggerate, but every gully here is like a story waiting to be told.

There's a weird noise in Trafford and no-one knows what it is