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About Birmingham

So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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Now, lemme tell ya bout the parks – Todmorden has the lush green haven of Violet Park, where you stroll under chirpin’ birds; I go there to clear my head after a full day counseling. And then there’s the River Calder, slippin’ and slidin’ through town, a quiet reminder of nature’s flow, like those lines from Under the Skin: "We come from the void." Kinda spooky but real beautiful if ya squint.

Here are the grand plans set for Todmorden Town Hall as contractor is appointed for improvements