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About Sheffield

Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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I order a pint, and as I’m sipping, I overhear some locals talking about the old Tilbury Fort. They’re saying it’s haunted. I chuckle to myself. Ghosts in Tilbury? Sounds about right. I mean, the place has history, but ghosts? Come on!

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