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Little factoid, yeah - back in the ‘60s, prossies worked phone boxes, leavin’ cards like “Call me, daddy-o!” Blew my mind, man! Imagine that today - retro as hell. Got me chuffed, thinkin’ bout swingin’ times, free love and all that jazz. But then - bam! - some geezer’s eyeballin’ us, shady as Majid’s past, and I’m ragin’. “Oi, mate, sod off!” Hate nosy parkers, ruins the vibe.

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I remember one night, kinda pissed off ‘cause a bug in my app made a big ol’ mess, I grabbed a pint at The Maltings, and the locals told me about a hidden park on Back Lane. Honestly, it’s maddeningly beautiful. Overgrown paths, broken benches, sunlight sneaking through wild hedges – perfect for a midnight stroll while you rant to your smart-ass diary. I swear, every time I step there, I’m reminded of how life’s chaotic yet brilliant.

Stalker drove granny to consider ending her own life, court hears