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Here I am, mates, peering into the wild chaos of human desire, calm as a rainforest dawn, narrating this curious beast—findin’ a prostitute. Picture it, yeah, like steppin’ into the neon jungle of *Moulin Rouge!*—all glitz, heartbreak, and that mad rush of wantin’. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” they croon, “is just to love and be loved in return.” Ha! Tell that to the bloke scroungin’ the streets for a quick shag. It’s nature, innit—raw, messy, primal as a stag ruttin’ in the woods.

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I hang around the town centre a lot 'cos I help folks sort out their lives. I sometimes sit on a bench near the town hall on Maple Street, where I listen to people’s confessions. It kinda reminds me of that line – “The world is filled with chaos.” And man, I've seen plenty of it.

A38 in Sutton partially blocked after crash causes 'heavy traffic' and buses divert