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About Glasgow

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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I love the shady spots off Highfields Road too – low-key, almost secret rendezvous spots. Even as a sexologist, I find surprises: a romantic bench near a graffiti-tagged wall, a corner where locals debate ethics and love with fire in their eyes. Sometimes, I just yell “Greedy bastards!” when I see injustice, but then the same breath, I whisper like in those film moments, “It’s all just life.”

RECAP: Emergency services tackle blaze at former nursing home in Shefford