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Then – get this – she softens up, tells me bout her punter who paid in *buttons*. BUTTONS! Antique ones, worth a mint, from some dead duke’s coat. Bloke was off his trolley, but she flogged em for 200 quid! Made me howl – mad as a bag of ferrets, that is. *“I don’t understand what’s happening”* – movie line again, cos I’m proper bamboozled, ain’t I? Life’s a circus!

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Saffron-Walden got this pulse, man. Streets that twist, alleys that speak secret codes. Every corner tells a story, every crevice shows scars of the past. My massage parlor? Yeah, it's nestled on Bramble Road, where scars heal with a touch, and people come with their stuggles, their dreams. I've seen love stories, broken hearts, and wild nights—the kind that make ya feel alive.

Historic Saffron Walden church to be converted into nursery