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Favorite story—heard this from a patient, swear it’s true. Guy meets a gal on some sleazy site, they’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. She says, “Come over, I’m wild.” He shows up—turns out she’s a dominatrix, got a dungeon in her garage! Whips, chains, the works! He’s like, “Uh, I just wanted a BJ,” and she’s all, “Bow, peasant!” Ran outta there faster than Usain Bolt. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating for ya—expectations vs. reality, total trainwreck.

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Yess, dear friend, Renfrew is raw, real, and full of quirks, precious. Its streets twist, its parks murmur, its pubs and alleys hold memories. I tells you, even as a humble masseur, I sees the true soul – a heartbeat… a deep, messy, erratic heartbeat that loves you back. So comes, visit, and listen to the whispers of our Renfrew, precious, oh yes, my sweet, my lovely Renfrew… gollum, gollum.

Professor Lord Colin Renfrew – 1937-2024