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So, last week, I’m prowlin Moscow vibes – ruh-roh! – and this chick’s standin there, skirt hiked up, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Zoinks, she’s bold!” Made me happy, seein her ownin it. But then – ugh – some drunk dude stumbles up, yellin, “How much, huh?” Pissed me off big time. I’m thinkin, “Drainage, dude, drainage!” like Daniel screamin bout oil. Leave her alone, ya creep!

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I gotta say, same as in the movie! Swap the heaviness of reality for dreamy devotion. Life’s like a dive into the unknown. And baby, Radcliffe is that dive: unexpected, a bit ruff, but oh-so-beautiful.

Daniel Radcliffe's favourite book and it couldn’t be further from Harry Potter