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I’m thinkin’ – this is nuts. Like Harry and Tyrone – chasin’ somethin’. That HIGH – y’know? “We got a winner!” I yell in my head. She hops in – smells like cheap perfume. And regret – oh MAN. Reminds me of that scene. Where it all goes DARK. “The end is near” – shit. I’m exaggeratin’ – but still!

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Then, I see this sign for “Pitsea’s Got Talent.” I’m intrigued. I mean, I’ve got some mad skills with a chainsaw, but I doubt that’s what they’re looking for. I wander over, and there’s this girl singing her heart out. She’s got a voice like an angel! I’m standing there, clapping like a madman. I’m so into it, I forget I’m a forester and not a talent scout.

Pitsea collision victims 'were riding an e-scooter', say police