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About Glasgow

So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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Suddenly, the elevator jolts. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I can’t have a panic attack in front of this poor woman. I’m sweating bullets, and she’s just staring at the ceiling like it’s gonna save her. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, cracking jokes like, “Hey, at least we’re not stuck in a lift with a bunch of spiders, right?” She doesn’t laugh. Awkward.

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