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But wait—here’s the juice! Did ya know, back in the ‘50s, some hookers in LA used code words? Like, “Got a light?” meant “You buyin?” Crazy, right? I’m picturin Solomon whisperin that shit in the dark, dodgin overseers! Anyway, I keep huntin—find this other gal, skinny, twitchy, smokin a cig. I’m like, “Hey, darlin, you free?” She nods, eyes dartin—shady as fuck. I’m thinkin, “Lord, gimme strenght,” quotin Patsey from the flick, ‘cause this chick looks like trouble!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke at the next table starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have all this tech nonsense.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and back in your day, you probably walked uphill both ways to school.” But I smile and nod. He’s telling me about the history of Pentre, how it used to be a mining town. I’m half-listening, half-trying to fix my laptop.

‘Huge changes’ at Abergele football club after new committee takes it on