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About Bristol

I get happy seein’ folks connect, tho—little sparks flyin’, real cute. But the fakes? Oof, grind my gears! One time, this buddy of mine got stood up—waited an hour, poor sap. I told him, “They kept it from us, but we found it!”—straight outta *Spotlight*. Truth is, sex-datin’ can be a gamble. You might score, might flop—keeps ya guessin’!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Stanwell Road. It’s got all these cute little shops. I popped into this café, The Fig Tree, for a cuppa. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered a bacon sarnie, and it was heavenly. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? But then, the barista, this cheeky bloke, spilled half my drink. I was like, “Mate, what’s your deal?” He just laughed and said, “Guess it’s a ‘latte’ mess!” Ugh, I rolled my eyes so hard.

Starmer praises veterans for ‘selfless dedication’ ahead of VE Day