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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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So, I’m minding my own business, right? Just me and my pigs, chillin’ by the old pier. Suddenly, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some kids were throwing stones at the seagulls. Like, seriously? Who does that? I got mad. I mean, come on, those poor birds just wanna chill too! I yelled at them, “Oi! Leave the gulls alone!” They looked at me like I was nuts. Maybe I am, but whatever.

‘There is ALWAYS a problem’: Trains cancelled everyday at town station