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About Birmingham

So, me, Gollum, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Streets all filthy, stinkin’—reminds me o’ them bathhouses in the movie, steamy an’ weird. Found this one lass, right? She’s all “Come here, precious!”—hah, stole me own line! Made me happy, that did, ‘til she asked fer gold. Gold! Like them greedy spirits hoggin’ the river. Pissed me off, it did—why’s it always ‘bout the shiny stuff?

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a swineherd in Penarth is never dull. Woke up early, like, way too early. The sun was barely up, and I was already dragging my feet down the street. You know, the one that leads to the seafront? I think it’s called the Esplanade. Beautiful views, but I was too grumpy to appreciate it.

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