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About Leeds

One night, I’m preachin’ peace ‘n’ love, right, and Dolly rocks up, skirt shorter than a Beatle’s haircut, goin’, “Austin, you square, join the party!” I’m all, “Baby, I’m hip, but I ain’t payin’!” She cackles, says, “You’re an animal, a beast!” – straight outta the movie, Lancaster Dodd style, controllin’ the scene. Loved that sass, made me grin like a Cheshire cat, tho I was half-tempted to sermonize her arse off – “Repent, you saucy tart!” – but nah, too shagadelic for that.

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I’m walkin’ along the canal, tryin’ to cool off, when I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to catch a fish with his bare hands. I’m like, “Dave, you’re a legend, but also a bit daft.” We share a laugh, and for a sec, I forget about the rubbish kids.

Taylor Swift tribute coming to Pelsall promises to be a great evening