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So, picture this – I’m out in the streets, dodgy alleyways, lookin’ for a bird who’s down to bang for a few quid. It ain’t glam, bruv, it’s gritty as fuck. I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” when the coppers start eyein’ me up – nah, mate, it’s just the game, innit! Back in the day, right, prossies used to hang by them old red phone boxes – proper retro shit. Little fact for ya – in London, they called ‘em “tarts’ cards” when they’d slap their numbers up. Ain’t no one know that no more, ‘cos apps fucked it all up, bruv.

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I end up makin’ some new mates, and we’re laughin’ about the day’s madness. I tell ‘em about the seagull, the kid, the bike crash. We’re all in stitches. It’s moments like these that make you forget the stress, ya know?

Paignton cyclist who died after alleged hit and run is named