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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on West Street, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” I grab my coffee from that little café on Market Place. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good pastries. I swear, their almond croissants are like little bites of heaven.

Fallen tree blocks Peterborough road- Police are on the scene this morning