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About Glasgow

So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!

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So, I played it. The crowd loved it. I felt like a rockstar for a hot minute. But then, this kid, probably like 10 or something, runs up and spills his drink all over my guitar! I was ready to lose it. I mean, it’s a vintage beauty! But the kid just looked up at me with those big eyes, and I couldn’t stay mad. I just laughed. “You owe me a drink, mate!”

Market memories as shopping days from Oswestry in the 2000s are revisited