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Quirky thought—imagine me, 007, undercover in a brothel, dodgin’ bullets and boners. “I’m here to carve my name,” I’d growl, Tarantino-style, dodgin’ a drunk john. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but brothels are bloody theatres—dramas, laughs, tears, all for a fiver. Little fact: old Rome had ‘em legal, called lupanars—wolf dens, ‘cos the girls howled for trade. Savage, eh?

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

After that caffeine disaster, I headed to the Oswestry Market. It’s always buzzing, right? Vendors shouting, people haggling. I love it! I was just vibing, strumming my guitar a bit, trying to catch some attention. Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “Oi, mate! Play ‘Wonderwall’!” I mean, really? Is that the only song people know? I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “C’mon, give me some credit!”

Oswestry's Cambrian Station restoration nearly complete