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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so transactional? Where’s the *vibe*? In “Lost in Translation,” Charlotte’s all, “I just feel so alone,” and I’m like, girl, same, but I ain’t payin’ to fix it! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred sex workers, like, “Praise the gods, here’s my ass!” Imagine animatin’ THAT—togas flappin’, clients prayin’. Hilarious, but kinda dope.

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After that chaos, I decided to wander down to the Oswestry Castle. It’s such a cool spot, right? I sat on the grass, just chilling, playing some tunes. The view is sick! You can see the hills in the distance. I was feeling all philosophical, like, “Man, life is good.” But then, this group of teenagers came by, blasting music from their phone. I was like, “Dude, really? Can’t a guy have a moment of peace?”

Lib Dems take all but one of 18 seats on Oswestry Town Council