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Then—bam—some drunk asshole yells, “Get a room!” Pisses me off, bro. Mind ya business! I’m tryna live, not hurt nobody. She shrugs, says, “Happens alla time.” I’m shocked—how you so calm? She’s like, “Survival, baby.” Damn, that hit me. *Hurt Locker* again—“You’re not ready to die.” She ain’t either, just grindin’.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Netley.

Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzin’ from it all. So, I wake up in my flat on Victoria Road, right? The sun’s blarin’ through the window, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Hamble and Netley by election result