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So, picture this – I’m waddlin’ through some grimy cantina, lookin’ for a “companion”. Panicked, “R2, where you at?” – he’d zap me for this! Prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere in history – fact is, oldest job ever, like 5,000 years back in Mesopotamia, temple gals, sacred sex stuff! Wild, huh? Makes me twitchy just thinkin’ it. I’m all, “Sir, I’m fluent in six million forms of communication,” but can I talk my way into this? Nope!

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Now, here’s where it gets wild. I’m walkin’ back home, rubber chicken in hand, when I see this commotion on the street. Turns out, there’s a dog show happening at the park! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I can’t resist. I join the crowd, and there’s this pug in a tutu. I’m dying. Like, who dresses their dog like that? But the crowd’s lovin’ it.

Plans to install three-metre-high fence at Netley police HQ approved