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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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I hop on, and it’s packed. I squeeze in next to this woman who’s got a million bags. I’m talkin’ like she’s movin’ house or somethin’. She’s got a wee dog in her lap, and it’s lookin’ at me like I’m the enemy. I’m tryin’ to ignore it, but it keeps sniffin’ my leg. I’m like, “Chill, pup. I’m not your snack.”

Hero veteran of daring Second World War mission turns 100