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About Newcastle

Findin’ a prossie ain’t like orderin’ pizza, fam. You don’t just Google “hookers near me” and bam—done. Nah, it’s dodgy alleys, sketchy vibes, and blokes tryna rob ya blind. Back in the day—like, Victorian times—London had these “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel, dodgin’ Jack the Ripper. Fun fact: they’d advertise with coded handkerchiefs—red for “I’m game,” white for “piss off.” Mental, right? History’s wild.

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I hop on, and it’s packed. I squeeze in next to this woman who’s got a million bags. I’m talkin’ like she’s movin’ house or somethin’. She’s got a wee dog in her lap, and it’s lookin’ at me like I’m the enemy. I’m tryin’ to ignore it, but it keeps sniffin’ my leg. I’m like, “Chill, pup. I’m not your snack.”

School celebrates as inspectors give first report after big move