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*raspy dual voice* My precious! Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, yeah? Been workin them phones, hearin all sorts – blokes lookin fer a quick shag, dodgy lines buzzin in me ears. Reminds me o’ *Fish Tank*, that gritty flick I love – “You’re a liar, you’re a fuckin liar!” – that’s what I’d yell at them pimps if I could. Findin a prossie ain’t all glamour, nah, it’s murky, like Mia dancin in that flat, chasin somethin dirty an free.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the canal. It’s peaceful there, right? But as I’m walkin’, I spot a group of teenagers. They’re throwin’ stuff in the water. I’m like, “Oi! What are ya doin’? This ain’t a rubbish dump!” They just laugh and keep tossin’ their junk. I’m fumin’. I mean, come on! Respect the nature, people!

Coronavirus: Camira Fabrics at Meltham Mills confirms positive tests