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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Crafty sods! Makes ya think, don’t it—history’s full o’ these cheeky mares. Anyway, I’m barterin with this lass, and she’s givin me the eye, like, “You’re a right nutter, you are.” Reminds me o’ that line from the flick—“I’m adopted, did you know that?”—cos I’m feelin like an oddball meself, stood there in me knackered boots.

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First off, I’m heading down Manston Road, and I’m already late for my first appointment. Classic me. I’m dodging cyclists like I’m in some sort of video game. Seriously, why do they think they own the road? Anyway, I finally get to the community center on the corner of Manston Court Road. It’s a nice spot, but the vibe was off. Like, super off.

Crews attend caravan fire in Manston