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About Newcastle

Yo, what’s good, fam? Escort, man, ESCORT! That shit’s wild, like Pan’s Labyrinth wild. You got these sleek rides—boom, protection vibes—rollin’ deep for VIPs. I’m talkin’ armored cars, tinted windows, screamin’ “I’m the Pale Man, bitch!” Chaotic absurdity, yo—Eric Andre energy! Like, who’s drivin’ this? Some ex-merc dude? Prolly. Saw this one escort gig—total madness—dude in a suit, shades, earpiece, lookin’ all “Ofelia, obey me!” serious. Made me holla, “Yo, chill, fam!”

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit the shops.” So, I wandered over to the High Street. You know, the one with all the quirky little shops? I popped into this vintage store. Found a sick jacket, but it was like 50 quid! I was like, “Nah, mate, I’m not made of money.” But I did buy a random vinyl. It’s some old band I’ve never heard of. Probably a mistake, but whatever.

Green light for new store to open on retail park