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About Bristol

Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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On my way home, I took a detour through the town center. Stopped by the local chippy on the way. Best fish and chips in Liversedge, hands down! I ordered a large portion, and the guy behind the counter was like, “You sure you can handle that?” I shot back, “Mate, I’m a fisherman. I can handle anything!”

Man charged with possession of shotgun after police attend properties