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About London

Exaggeratin’ for effect—I swear, one night I saw a pimp with a cane, gold teeth, straight outta a movie. Thought I’d die laughin’. “Greed is good,” I yelled—he tipped his hat! True story, maybe. Point is, it’s a circus out there. You gotta play it smart, feel the pulse, like Monty facin’ his fate.

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Anyway, I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a crowd gathering. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, some bloke’s trying to show off his new motorbike. Classic Lisburn, right? He revs it up, and it sounds like a dying cat. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just there, shaking my head.

Lisburn woman given 100 hours of community service for failing to pay a taxi fare