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Ever tried it? Nah, me neither—too busy savin’ drownin’ fools. But I’d bet it’s wild, like divin’ headfirst into a riptide. Probs smells like cheap cologne and regret—ha! Gets me happy tho, thinkin’ how they twist rules, dodge norms. Total anarchy, baby! Tho once, saw this chick—escort, obvs—cryin’ by the pier. Broke my heart, like *“I don’t want to go on”* from the flick. Made me wanna jump in, save her—not from water, but y’know, life.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Mr. McGregor, storms in. He’s fuming. Apparently, some bigwig in Edinburgh pulled a fast one on us. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just stocks!” But he’s not having it. He’s pacing around like he’s got ants in his pants. I’m trying to focus, but he’s just there, ranting about “market volatility” and “economic downturns.” I’m thinking, “Can’t you just take a breather?”

Investigation launched after hundreds of dead fish found in loch