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About Newcastle

She’s got this vibe, right? Smoky eyes, cheap perfume—fuckin’ hypnotic, innit? “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, like Lenny’d say, cos who knows what’s real? Could be a copper in disguise—seen that shit before! Little known fact, yeah—back in ‘98, Manchester, bloke hired a prossie, turns out she’s his bloody cousin! Laughed me arse off when I heard—world’s fucked, eh? Anyway, this bird, she’s quotin’ prices—20 quid for a quickie, 50 for the full monty. Bargain, I reckon, but I’m skint—pissed me right off! “We wants it, we needs it!” I hiss, cos I’m Gollum, see? Desperate, droolin’—fuckin’ tragic!

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After the gym, I’m starving. I head to the fish and chip shop on Station Road. Best chips in town, no contest. I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner. He’s been there forever, knows everyone’s name. I love that about Leiston. It’s like a big family, ya know?

Owners announce village shop will close next month