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So, picture this—you’re tryna find a prostitute. Not some fancy billionaire’s escort, nah, those jerks hoard everything! I’m talkin’ street-level, raw, unfiltered. Where do ya even start? Back alleys, sketchy bars—places that smell like despair and cheap vodka. Reminds me of that line, “You’re a worm in my eyes!”—that’s what the system thinks of these folks, ya know? Pisses me off! They’re people, not trash, but the 1% don’t care!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old bloke named Mr. McGregor comes shufflin’ by. He’s a legend in Kilbirnie, always tellin’ stories about the “good ol’ days.” He starts chattin’ with me, and I’m like, “Here we go.” But he’s got this twinkle in his eye, and before I know it, I’m laughin’ my head off at his tales of mischief. He once tried to sneak into the local pub at 16, dressed as a woman. I mean, what a guy!

Call for community groups and charities to join Kilbirnie's emergency services event