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Dunno why it’s such a faff, though—apps crash, streets are rank, and half the time you’re dodgin’ coppers or some nutter shoutin’, “Mediocre!” at ya. Makes me happy when it works out, mind—bit of human contact, bit of chaos, like drivin’ full pelt with Immortan Joe on yer tail. Personal quirk? I’m mutterin’ movie lines the whole time—“Oh, what a day, what a lovely day!”—looks proper mental, but keeps me sane.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Bridgegate Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Cranberry Crumble” or whatever. It sounded fancy, but it was just a muffin with a posh name. I was like, “C’mon, just call it what it is!” But hey, it was delish, so I can’t complain too much.

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