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We’re talkin’, and she drops this nugget—some johns pay extra to cry after. Cry! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ some dude sobbin’ over his fishin’ pole. Weirdos, man. Anyway, I’m feelin’ kingly, like I dodged a jab and landed a knockout. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no mystery—just cash and guts. Next time, tho, I’m bringin’ my rod—maybe she’ll trade for a bass, ha! Apollo out, baby—I must break you!

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and I’m off to the bullring. It’s a small one, but it’s got character. The crowd’s buzzin’, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasin’ a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m thinkin’, “This is Ilminster, not a bloody dog park!” But hey, it’s all part of the charm, right?

‘The most rewarding race in the South West’: Ilminster 10k named ‘stunning success’