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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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But then, I hear this commotion. I turn around, and there’s a dog running wild, chasing after a squirrel. It’s chaos! The owner’s shouting, and I’m cracking up. Like, this is the highlight of my day. I whip out my phone to capture it, but of course, the dog stops right in front of me, tongue out, looking like it just won the lottery.

Derbyshire offenders in court: Chesterfield, Bakewell, Creswell, Ilkeston, High Peak, Ashbourne and Derby