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About Newcastle

Look, if ya gonna do it, be smart—don’t be Jake, ya dummy. Cash, not card, and don’t trust no shady ads. X posts say some spots are traps—cops or worse. Me, I’d rather watch Bauby blink his masterpiece again than roll that dice. “I wait,” he said, stuck in silence. Maybe that’s the trick—wait, think, don’t leap into the muck. Whaddya say, pal? Dirt’s honest—people? Not so much.

He is one of a number on our latest 'named and shamed' list

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

After that, I decided to take a stroll down the Market Place. It’s buzzing, like always. The market stalls are packed with fresh produce, and I’m thinking, “Why don’t I ever buy veggies?” But then I remember I can’t even keep a cactus alive. Anyway, I spot this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the biggest smile, and I can’t resist. I buy a bunch of daisies. Why? No clue. Just felt right, y’know?

Ilkeston fire: Pub to remain closed for a 'couple of weeks' as new photos show extent of damage