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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m sittin’ here, lifeguard gig on the water, watchin’ waves crash, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds nuts comin’ from me, but hear me out! I’m paddlin’ my board, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m dreamin’ up a story—kinda like my favorite flick, *The Gleaners and I*. You seen it? Agnès Varda, 2000, pure gold—folks pickin’ through scraps, makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I see this old guy on the corner of Church Lane. He’s feeding pigeons, right? And I’m thinking, “Aww, that’s sweet.” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on his head! I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing. The poor dude didn’t even notice! I mean, come on, that’s comedy gold!

North West Leicestershire local election results 2025 in full