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About Newcastle

Anyway, I saunter over, all smooth-like. “Ciao, bella,” I say, channelin’ Jep’s charm. She’s nervous, hands shaky—makes me feel a bit sad, ya know? “This city’s a graveyard,” I think, quotin’ *The Great Beauty* in my head. She’s quotin’ a price, 50 euros, cheap as chips. I’m like, “Love, you’re worth more,” but she don’t get it. Makes me mad—pimps grindin’ her down, fuckin’ bastards. I wanna punch somethin’, but I’m Bond, so I smirk instead.

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Finally, we get the food, and I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, the vet’s closed! I’m fumin’. Like, what kind of vet closes at 3 PM? I mean, c’mon! So, we’re standin’ there, lookin’ at each other like, what now?

'Significant damage' caused to house on Anglesey in fire this morning