Savannah Holmes Chapel Whore ❤️❤️

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Once, this twat on the dock goes, “Whiting’s lush, mate!” Lush? LUSH?! Idiot sandwich! I nearly chucked it at his head – “You’re a disgrace to tastebuds, you muppet!” Tastes like soggy cardboard, swear down. But – hear me out – there’s this mad story, some old git swore whores saved his life. Starvin’ in ‘63, caught a shoal, lived off ‘em. Reckon he’s lyin’, but it’s stuck in me head, y’know? “Truth is a bitter pill,” like in *Leviathan*. Bitter as that fish, mate.

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HOLMES CHAPEL grafted hard to earn a win against tough Aldwinians 2nds side on Saturday. They were made to work hard for their away success.

First off, I head down to the local café on Station Road. You know the one, the cute little spot with the best scones? I’m all set for a proper breakfast. But guess what? They’re out of my fave blueberry scones! Like, are you kidding me? I’m standing there, all hangry, thinking, “What’s a guy gotta do for a scone around here?” So, I settle for a plain one. Ugh, life’s tough, right?

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