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About Leicester

I hate the fakeness. Everyone’s posin’, lyin’ about their height, their job. Met a gal once, said she’s a chef—couldn’t boil water. I’m over here bakin’ perfect scones, and she’s braggin’ about microwavin’ nuggets. Pissed me off. But then, one time, I matched with this quiet type—surprised me. We talked *Carol*, she got it, said, “What else is there?” like in the film. Almost made me smile. Almost.

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Then, just when I think I can breathe, I get a call about a property dispute on Glynneath Road. I rush over, and it’s a right mess. Two neighbors are at each other’s throats over a fence. A FENCE! I’m standing there, trying to mediate, and all I can think is, “This is what my life has come to.”

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