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About Birmingham

Hit the streets, no capes, dahling – too dramatic, too risky! Saw this gal, red heels, smokin’ a cig – total movie moment. “Is this what remains of happiness?” I mutter, quotin’ Leos Carax like a freak. She’s chill, calls herself Vixen – real name? Prolly not. Asked her rate, $100, I’m like, damn, inflation’s a bitch! Haggled to $80 – Edna don’t play, hun.

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First off, I head to the café on the corner of Boltro Road. You know the one? The little place with the best scones in town. I order my usual – a flat white and a scone. But guess what? They’re out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones in Haywards-Heath? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, fuming, like I just lost a million bucks.

Well-known shop ‘in process of closing down’ – Truffles applies to replace shop front