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About Myself
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About Leicester
So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!
In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.
Then, outta nowhere, my phone rings again. It’s my mate, Tom. He’s stuck at the beach. Apparently, he lost his wallet while trying to impress some tourists. Classic Tom, right? I’m laughing, but also thinking, “Dude, you’re 35. Get it together!”
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