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So, you’re lookin’—what’s the vibe? Dark alleys, neon signs—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty. Maybe you’re laughin’, thinkin’, “Larry, you old dog, you tried it?” Nah, I’m just wonderin’—slowly, y’see? Gotta watch for the fakes—dudes posin’ as chicks, hilarious but messed up! “The wind is rising,” like in *White Material*—trouble’s brewin’, always is.
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First off, I hit up the local café on Wey Hill. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte and a scone, thinking I’m all posh. But then, the barista—bless her heart—totally messed up my order. I got a flat white instead. Like, what even is a flat white? I’m not fancy enough for that! I was like, “Um, excuse me, I ordered a scone, not a flat tire!” She laughed, and I just rolled my eyes.
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With a genuine WWII Spitfire flypast scheduled for the opening ceremony. A special raffle is being held – only 200 tickets are available at £20 each.Haslemere Whore
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