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Now, don’t get dumb—findin’ a prostetute ain’t no picnic. Apps exist, yeah—shady sites, code words like “massage.” But IRL? Risky as hell—fake pics, scams, or worse, some dude with a knife. Happened in Pattaya once, guy got robbed blind! Hilarious if it ain’t you, pathetic if it is. Me, I’d rather watch Boonmee talk to monkeys than roll *that* dice.

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I’m halfway to the office when I spot this massive pigeon. Like, seriously, this bird was the size of a small dog. I’m not even kidding! It just stared me down like it owned the place. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for your drama.” But it didn’t budge. I had to sidestep it like I was in some weird dance-off.

Carly Burd breaks her silence and donates £50,000 to the Harlow Foodbank