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But yo, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just drive-by shit. You gotta talk smooth, keep it real. I’m all, “What’s good, baby girl?” She hit me with, “50 for a quickie,” straight up. I’m like, *fo’ shizzle*, but I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *Pan’s Labyrinth*—this like a deal with the faun, you know? “Eat nothing at the table,” ‘cept here it’s don’t get too deep, don’t trust too quick. Surprised me how fast she clocked me—girl knew I wasn’t no rookie.

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I decide to take a stroll along the riverbank. It’s nice, you know? The views of the Hampton Court Palace across the water are stunning. But then I spot this old bloke trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “What’s he trying to catch? A whale?” Turns out, he’s just after some tiny fish. I mean, bless him, but it’s like fishing in a kiddie pool.

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